he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
