Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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