Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
