i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
