sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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