i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
