Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
