Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
