I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
