i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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