Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
