It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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