your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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