is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
