of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
