He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
