Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
