i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
