okay pat passed out under dana's car
the day after is always just damage control
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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