The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
