so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
