Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
