I am puke
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize