Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You can't motorboat a personality
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
