The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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