So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
