i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
did you just send me my own nude
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
