i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
