Please, let me fuck your mom
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
