I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
