I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
