i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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