Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
