69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
