No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
