party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize