went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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