I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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