you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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