Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
