they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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