...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize