Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize