Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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