I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
