They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
