Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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