I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
