I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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