I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize