I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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