if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
