I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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