that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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