you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
