he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I need moral support for this bender
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
