Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You pole danced in your parka.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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