you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
