remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
